Forbidden feelings Four weeks had gone since my bonding with Brian. The daily routine never changed. I longed for yet another encounter with Brian, but I knew that I had to earn it. One day the head master came with a note from Paula. It stated that she had graduated and she wished me good luck. I did not know and that is how it is. Only the graduates and those students which perform at the graduation ceremony know who is graduating.

Who I am My name is Debbie and I am years old. I am a single child. I live with my parents. I have always had good grades in school. I enjoy music and basketball. I have been on my school team for year until I injured my knee. I turned my interest to history and was a straight-A student. I dont touch alcohol or any drugs. Normally I didnt go out. Not even to a movie.

A confession I was confused and did not want to go any further into the subject. I wanted to talk about Brian. I was concerned about him. I wanted him to move forward in the program. He would only be able to do that if he confronted his problems and acknowledge his failures. How can put even more pressure on Brian? He seems not to break. It is so important for me to have him progressing in the program.

Arrival in Jamaica When we landed I felt the plane stop and then it took forever until one of the guards removed the ear part and explained that it would take sometime before the cab to the school came. He ordered me to suck the gag because he was about to get some water trough a tube in the gag. I was thirsty but the water tasted of rubber. It was awful. The time went by. I peed in my diaper once more. I sobbed out of pure shame. My diaper was so wet and I was embarrassed.

Earning the tail One morning, when I was chatting through the knot with Judith, Susan entered the box looking rather official and she had an announcement: Today you will be tested and if you pass the test your parents will come for a visit unannounced. Also you will earn your tail, so do you best. After I was prepared I was followed out of the stable. For some reason they did not made me wear a gag. In front of my stood a small a single seat cart.

This stage we also call Observation Placement also known as O.P. It is time for you to reflect on your behaviour and what you were about to do to yourself before you were sent here. Observation Placement is also used as punishment, whenever you dont work with the program at any level and as transaction period if you drop back in levels during the program. They guide me down the hall and into a room with oddly looking furniture. What is that? That is a toilet chair.

Brians Arrival I stood in the hall with Lorna and waited for Brian. The door went up and a hooded boy in restraints entered. He was not taking it very well and tried to twist and turn whenever the escorts relaxed for a moment. When he was placed on a bench in the lacing room, I talked to one of the guard from the escort division. As usual they had entered his bedroom at about a.m. in the morning, but he had been in town and was not at sleep.

Selected for the graduation show Susan released me from the harness but left the gag. She took my parents on a tour around the school. She had me on a leash, so I followed them. They were very impressed but also surprised when they saw my box. My mother hugged me. Oh my darling. It is harsh conditions, but you held your chin up and you will benefit from it in the long run.

First night After a long walk, where Susan supported me and guided me because I was about to stumble several times due to my chained legs, we reached the dormitory. There were eight beds in the room. I was guided to one of them. Susan hooked a chain connected to the bed to the cuffs on my legs. My arms were freed but Susan took some gloves and put them over my hands. They were closed with a small padlock. Susan saw the question in my face and answered it before I would break the rules.

The final leg The next morning the head master informed me that I was on Level four. I worked almost full time as a junior staff member but of course also a lot of my time was devoted to my academic. It was a kind of deja vu for me. Almost every one of them showed the fear of the unknown. The shock of breaking the very first rule, they ever learned from their parent, who is: Never walk with a stranger. A rule-breaking ordered by the parents.